Sunday, January 18, 2009

Yay, first entry!

I think it's time for a fresh new blog. I've been on Xanga since the beginning of my senior year in high school way back in 2003. Now most of my favorite Xangans have moved on and I'm thinking it's time I follow suit.

I don't plan on ever shutting down that old Xanga because I want to keep up with those who still use it. Plus, that blog has six years worth of my writing. Admittedly, not all of it is very good, but I had some great blogging moments there.

Lately, my experience there is growing stagnant. I don't feel like I can be completely honest anymore. Last week, a Xangan posed to the rest of Xanga a challenge :
  • open with this John Jakes quote -- "Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish."
  • write your full name
  • be brutally honest and reveal who you truly are as a person, what you stand for, etc.
This lady is a high school teacher who posed the same assignment to her students. When I first read her challenge, I thought that would be the perfect way to break my long hiatus. I started to write. Halfway through that post, it dawned on me that I wasn't writing to the same Xanga of 2006. A lot of the people who still read that blog are people who know me personally; people who tease me and judge me for the things I write offline, people who don't take me seriously, who don't respect me. Long story short: I could not post that entry.

These are people I've known forever. They aren't bad people. We've definitely grown apart over the years though. I've tried to be clear about my boundaries, but they aren't getting it. I've just reached the point where I'm tired of trying and would rather just agree to disagree.

I don't want to start any drama over this. I'm trying to make the move as discreetly as possible. By and by, I'm going to tell some of the Xangans I trust most where I've moved. I just came to the realization that if I want to grow as a writer and as a person, I need to disassociate myself from people I can't be myself around.
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2 comments:

  1. PennieJanuary 19, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    I'm really glad that I'm one of the people that you chose to share your new site with. I don't think that I could ever move off of xanga. So much of my life has been chronicled there, and I've *met* so many people through that channel. It would be really hard for me to walk away from it and try to write somewhere else, or stop blogging at all. I'm just glad that I'm able to stay caught up with you. I've really come to appreciate your friendship. I understand how you feel about not being able to be completely honest on xanga though. Now that I've been online for so long there, I feel like there are some things I'm too embarrassed to share there. I don't want people to judge me or think less of me because of what I share. Surprisingly enough, it was really hard for me to do those posts regarding that challenge, because I have a lot of Christian subscribers. Christians that are adamant about their faith, and I don't want anyone telling me that I'm less of a Christian because of my choices. If that makes sense.

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  2. LaurenJanuary 20, 2009 at 10:59 PM

    I'm also really glad to know I was trusted with your new site. I understand not feeling free to write - I had to put my blog under "Xanga Lock" thanks to that asshole of an ex whatever of mine. I don't think I've felt free to write as I used to since then. I'm thinking of making a move, too. And paying for Xanga Premium just long enough to snag my archive of the past five years.

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